The planning of the wedding went without a hitch. I had every ... ]]> I was the maid of honor and it was my responsibility (and my privilege) to make sure everything went as planned. I took this very seriously. As a part-time wedding coordinator and best friend for 20 plus years to the bride, I had to make sure this wedding, above all other weddings, was perfect.

Perfection is impossible. Ring bearers drop the rings. Flower girls cry as they drop the petals. Yes, the groom can faint. Those aren’t imperfections; those are “wedding character builders.” At least that is what I tell my couples as I counsel them on wedding day mishaps. Those are the things that make their special day even more special.

The first thing I did was try to discourage them from having the wedding outdoors. “Too many variables,” I explained. “There are too many uncontrollables outside.” They didn’t listen. They had to get married in the park where they met, the park where they had their first date, the park where he proposed and she said yes. I’m a bit calloused; romance and sentiment has no place in an outdoor wedding. I had seen it go bad too many times.

The planning of the wedding went without a hitch. I had every detail covered, even rain, wind and hail. I had a contractor build a temporary building that I even decorated for “just in case.” I woke the morning of the wedding, knowing in my heart that little could be done to ruin this wedding.

The limo carrying the bride, her parents, and the bridesmaids arrived on time. It parked next to the curb. We all emerged from the limo looking perfect. Not a wrinkle, not a stain. As we walked toward the gazebo, the music begin to play. The curtains put up around the gazebo to shield the guests from the seeing the bride too early gently swayed in the breeze. No bad weather, not a cloud in the sky. My fear of all the variables dissolved as we made our way to the gazebo. Then, the unthinkable…

A car grazed the rear bumper of the limo. Without stopping, without attempting to stop, the car plowed into our little group. I was told later that it hit gazebo, where it finally stopped. I didn’t know anything about that. I was crawling toward my best friend, her wedding dress covered in blood.

Her father’s back was broken and he is now paralyzed from the waist down. Another bridesmaid had a broken leg. I had four broken ribs. The bride, amazingly, only had minor cuts and bruises.

My friend and her fiance were married in the hallway of the hospital, as they were wheeling her mother to surgery. She wanted her mother there and she was. He father was moved to the hallway as well, so he could see his daughter get married.

I’m sure my friend’s mother fought not to die on her daughter’s wedding day and that battle she won. My friend’s mother died 22 minutes after midnight. It was not on her daughter’s wedding day.

Now, as I plan weddings for others, I think back to that day. I want so much to shake the brides-to-be as they worry and fret over frivolous details. So what if it rains? So what if the flowers are wilted? A wedding is a few minutes out of a lifetime. Sometimes, as I learned the hard way, it can be the last few minutes of someone’s lifetime. The marriage should last a lifetime. My friends marriage has lasted over a decade, despite the horror of it’s beginning. That is what couples should concentrate on – making their marriage last – no matter what.

Storms can rain so heavy it turns into floods we only have to look at poor Noah with his ark

that was ... ]]> Storms are the most worse of all weathers it can happen all over the world when you don’t expect it.

You know when it happens the clouds change and it starts to get really windy every thing goes a sort of black and you all want to head inside.

Cows and horses seem to sense it too as well as adults.

Storms are so strong there will blow anything over that stands in the way and can go on a long time.

Its worse when your cycling or walking its like a really bad force is lifting you up and doesn’t want to put you down.

It can damage a lot of houses and trees its not as bad as a hurricane but you think its going to happen as it whirls like one.

Storms are mighty strong when people are out at sea it makes the waves go higher and can make people in so much danger there can drown if there are not rescued in time.

We have heard storms from another town and felt it even if hasn’t really happened but the weather scale has shown it.

In america and other countries the storms can be so strong it shatters shop windows and flats and cars.

Storms can harm fish as well as animals as it scares them and they can die as the shock makes their heart stop.

It makes it hard work for everyone especially the emergency team as a lot of traffic accidents can form when a storm starts to happen.

Storms sometimes have thunder and lighting mixed in which doesn’t help and can cut electric poles in half with such mighty power.

We are not safe were ever we are and we end up with lots of problems when its finished.

Storms are not always predicted by weather forecasters it something happens and before we know a beautiful day can turn in whirling weather.

Storms can rain so heavy it turns into floods we only have to look at poor Noah with his ark

that was flooded so much.

Storms cause so much panic especially when your in a tent.

Why does it happen nobody can tell us its not every day it does it we can go months maybe years before we have another one.

Storms are really good to clear the air especially if the weather has been so hot and there is a lot of flies in the air.

It can damage crops so badly that farmers can sometimes be out of work for months.

When storms happens it can bring more things with it like hail which can sometimes be as big as tennis balls all so damage items too.

Sometimes the storms makes rain so hard it can overloaded rivers and seas and overflow causing more floods needing sand bags and floods.

Winter can be magical. Attending a winter wedding breathes new life, just the same as a baby being born.

What makes winter so much fun are the football games, ... ]]> Seeing our Granddaughter sledding down the hill in our backyard is only one of the reasons that I love winter. That big smile, with the missing teeth is priceless. Memories of our past start to unfold. We remember all of our past winters, and how much fun we had, from ice skating on the lake, to sledding down a hill.

Winter is beautiful. The snow is so pretty, especially when settling on a deck railing, or the trees. We hibernate like bears, and peek our heads out in the spring. We are re born. But we know that in a few months another winter will be back. We wonder, will we have snow? Will it be a cold winter? The winter season is one that we reflect about for years to come.

One reason to love winter is that spring is right around the corner. The winter brings us water for planting. Planting brings us food, and beauty when the flowers pop up. Winter brings us the holidays and family get together es.

The south has very light winters, but they are beautiful in their own right. There is nothing like running on the beach with a Santa’s hat on, in 80 degree weather.

Movies are better in winter. And Christmas Vacation is one movie that is always playing on one channel or another.

Winter can be magical. Attending a winter wedding breathes new life, just the same as a baby being born.

What makes winter so much fun are the football games, the super bowel parties, and the welcoming of the new year.

As children we played outside for the whole day, and never seemed to get cold. Then it was a change of gloves, and we were out until dark. The next day was exactly the same.

We complain about the woes of winter all of the time. The driving is more challenging, and the days are shorter, but I do not care. I love winter and all that comes with it.

Without winter there would be less beauty in the world, and less to talk about. With no winter there would be a void.

So get out there. Make a snowman, or slide down a hill. Take a walk in the snow. And be grateful every time a new winter arrives.

Every winter, and every season is different. It’s what we do with it that counts.

Oh and by the way, Happy Spring is just around the corner. so enjoy.

Another story is unwinding here.

One of love, not hate.

The same story, from beginning to end.

Right up into this date.

Tearstained cheeks, touched with cold hands ... ]]> Poetry:The cycle of life.

Another story is unwinding here.

One of love, not hate.

The same story, from beginning to end.

Right up into this date.

Tearstained cheeks, touched with cold hands.

Washing away hates hold on man.

With thoughts of things that hold love together,.

Of a love that has traveled through heavy weather.

Looking over at Max, the black great Dane who was the subject of our conversation, I had to wonder myself. Why would anyone in their right ... ]]> My wife asked me, once, why I picked my dog. Was it because I just liked large dogs? Or had I always wanted a large, horse sized animal to live in the house?

Looking over at Max, the black great Dane who was the subject of our conversation, I had to wonder myself. Why would anyone in their right mind want an animal that weighs, at least, a hundred and eighty pounds living in their house?

Maybe I just liked having a second love seat crowding up the already too small living room. Or, somehow, I was able to take the muddy footprints all over the siding, out back, as a cute thing that left me feeling endeared to the over sized lard-butt that left them.

Maybe scooping up the copious piles of excrement in the back yard was a therapeutic thing for me, and that’s why I insisted on feeding him things heavy in fiber. There is nothing more satisfying as looking out over your yard, after spending the better part of a sunny afternoon picking up dog doo the size of a cat. Granted the smell doesn’t go away, but the feeling of accomplishment is empowering. You know with a high degree of confidence that this time you absolutely will not step in feces when you fire up the lawnmower.

There is also a feeling of mischievousness when you walk a dog of this size and you see women and children run away, screaming in terror. Many is the time that I’ve been walking along with Max and seen a woman pull her offspring into the house when she spied us walking down the street. No matter that her yard was fenced in, an animal of this stature is sure to jump the fence and eat your little brats, right? Hilarious.

When Max was a puppy everyone commented on how he looked like a bulldog. At six weeks old he had short little legs and a round belly. His head looked like it should have been on a different dog because it was so out of proportion to the rest of him. Eventually he out grew the short blocky look and grew into the tall gangly animal I can hear barking in the back yard as I’m typing this. At the age of sixteen months he had the proportions of a deer, long legs and a slim body. But the huge head was still there.

By the age of two he finally looked like he was all grown up, his body had grown a powerful look to it that made him look even meaner then before. Of course, his coloring had something to do with that as well. Nothing scarier then a big black dog coming at you with a bark that could wake the dead.

A favorite thing of Great Danes is to great you with a big hug. At least that’s what mine does. When I walk in the house from work he, invariably, comes up to me and gently places his front paws on my shoulders so we can say hello. Of course, I’d rather kiss my beautiful wife before I kiss the dog, but he’s bigger then her and muscles her out of the way every time.

The other evening I was in the driveway, in front of my shed, working on a motorcycle when the phone rang in the house. As I stepped up onto the porch I tripped on one of Max’s many toys, in the dark, and fell onto the porch, crashing into the back door. Max took this as a sign that I wanted to wrestle, and jumped on my back. Losing my temper a little, I yelled at him to get off of me.

Just then my wife came to the door to see what all the yelling was about, and saw Max straddling me with the hood of my black sweatshirt in his mouth.

Trying to hand the phone to Max, she said,” Here, hon, phone call for you.”

” I’m under the stupid dog, Angela!”

“Oh, sorry. I can’t tell where one of you ends and the other begins in this light.”

Something borrowed, as I did return it later to the hanger on the rack.

It started with the wedding dress. Not wanting to repeat past mistakes, we began shopping as early as one can when one is doing this in just two ... ]]> In the land of the midnight sun I knew the day would dawn bright and beautiful, the day I would pledge my life to another for the second time. The first wedding was a mess with the groom and a brides maid passing out at the alter, my three month old son falling off the church pew and crying making my lactating girl parts leak all over the wedding dress that was bought the day before in a formal prom shop, as the one ordered did not show. That was the “indoor” wedding from hell, and I prayed to the rising sun that this day not follow that example.

As the sky turned from dusk to dawn the birds began to sing and the house began to stir. A day we had been planning for two weeks, a rush due to my mother and sister deciding we had to get married on Labor Day and could not wait till the following year. I think they were not anticipating the long winter and needed one more thing to plan and party about before the end of our “endless nights”.

What ever the reason we did it as a family, in my parent’s yard, and broke most every tradition we could.

Something borrowed, as I did return it later to the hanger on the rack.

It started with the wedding dress. Not wanting to repeat past mistakes, we began shopping as early as one can when one is doing this in just two weeks. A trip to the mall with my sister and four small children proved a big head ache we thought was pointless.

The store was closing, the kids were not behaving and I had no “underclothes”. My sister insisted I had something sexy under my dress, not a classic “wedding” dress, but a dress I can wear again some day. In the lingerie department her children quickly assumed the task of embarrassing us, mine began to cry as dinner time was past, and the store announced it was closing. Giving up the search we frantically gathered the children swearing to return the next day. At the store exit we were wished a good evening by the security guard as he closed the gate behind us and walked away. This is when we noticed the last “potential” dress was still hanging over the back of my stroller. Looking back at the store, it’s gates tightly secured and the guards retreating back, we walked away with a borrowed dress.

As the family stirred I sat on the roof of the house and watched my brother in law scale the peak to install a camera, and assessed what needed done still. Decorations, a tent, tables and chairs, the sound system

As the morning progressed to afternoon, the yard decorated

Not Expecting Death
I suppose ... ]]> “Till death do us part”

My husband died last December. His death was totally unexpected and at too young an age. He and I had plans and dreams. We looked forward to growing old together. We planned to have twin rocking chairs on the back porch. We planned to enjoy together our children graduating from college, to celebrate marriages and births together, to spoil our grandchildren together. Then suddenly there was no together.

You will find elsewhere the stages of grief and the recommendations for coping with grief and moving on. Here are only my thoughts and observations about my husband’s death and my living with mourning. My experience may give you food for thought.

Not Expecting Death

I suppose none of us ever expects those we love to die. I had undoubtedly thought of it-we paid for life insurance, after all, and made wills. When it occurred the event was unlike any other experience in my life. This was my first adult experience with death. I have been very fortunate not to lose others. This loss does not leave me feeling prepared at all for the next loss that will undoubtedly occur, but it does make me well aware of the possibility of loss. I have grown gun-shy, half-expecting death at every fork in the road. My Dad was in the hospital-is this just the prelude to another loss? He came home-will he die in his sleep? I honestly do not believe I dwell too much on the might-be of death, but once my husband died, the possibility of death and loss became real to me. I no longer lived in denial of the inevitable.

His death was sudden and quick. He rose from bed one Saturday. An hour later as I went to rush out of the house after a quick goodbye, I found him lying downstairs, cold and heavy.

In God’s Grace.

God grants us his grace in such a moment and for as long as we need to be so protected, I believe. I plodded ahead calling 911, notifying family, planning arrangements. I did so, by God’s grace, in a careful manner, not overly emotional, not without emotion. I was aware that inside of me somewhere my heart was breaking, but I lived for a time in what I can only describe as a state of grace, where I put one foot in front of the other with total amazement that I was walking and talking, I went on aware that I was moving on but unsure how.

The crisis, the loss, meddled with my memories. I look back on that day, that first week, the first few months and there are gaping holes in my memory, there is a sense of unreality, as